My trip started on sort of a down note because when I reached there, I realised that I was chosen to be a group leader. Wow! The first wave of thoughts that rushed through my mind was, "Wah seh... Group leader??!!? Sigh, I thought I could rest and relax without any extra role and responsibility. Now got to lead a group ah... sianz.... Am also involved in the worship, how to lead my group effectively?"
However, I braced myself and went ahead to link up with the group. The second wave of thoughts gushed through me when I met them, "Huh! Almost all of them are more senior than me! There are three married couples in the group and two from the deaf minitry. Gosh! Really challenging to lead them ah... "
Negativity and excuses filled my mind pretty much of the first day of the retreat. And trust me, all these things will fuel tiredness in a person.. It makes you grumble, complain and totally unhappy with things around. You guys can check with Alvin.. I totally look worn out that first night.
On the second day morning, we had our solitude time with the Lord and he really spoke to me through Ps Julie's message. I was enslaved in my own world of negativity, complaining and grumbling... totally forgetting what was the whole idea of this re-encounter! Instead of celebrating and giving thanks, I slumped into complaining. I repented before the Lord at that very instance for my poor attitude and really asked for a change of heart there and then.
After that, the grouping didn't change, it was still a challenge to lead them. However, with a new spirit, attitude and dogged determination from the Lord, there was great freedom in engaging the team... totally free from any pressure to perform or meet any expectations.
This was just one of the many encounters I had with the Lord. Will share more in due time. But I left the re-encounter REFRESHED by His Presence, RECHARGED by His love for me, and READY to serve!
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