Spiritual Children are blessings

i was mediating on some issues and thoughts today after service..

In a shock! i realised my ministry has grown tremedously to a number of 8 today. Seriously, it's always a "i cannot take it anymore" feeling whenever i meet problems in ministry.. many times, i really feel i don't fit to be leading so many of the boys. i always ask God to show me the way because i do really feel lost of where am i leading them to and what i can be doing with them to grow..

In the past, i was told by Ej bro (while he's my ah pa still) that having a ministry, our lives will be like rubberband being stretched by God to the max just before breaking point but it's also the reason why our hearts can have greater capacity for love.

For me.. Whenever they share their problems, i will put in all effort to think solutions for them, hoping to give the best advise and pray for them. There are also situations when i felt so heart-broken and think that the state they are stuck in was my fault for not guiding them well.. Not forgetting, i was also frustrated when they don't listen even when i said many many times. And also so so unappreciated at times.

What keeps me going in ministry is:
If God is such a good God in my life, i must rise up the next generation with God-centered hearts. Bcoz i know God will certainly bless them.

the passage in John21:15-17 always encourages me to move when Jesus asked Peter, does he love him. Peter was asked 3 times and he replied all 3 times he loves Jesus. Jesus then ask Peter to take care of his sheeps.

Frankly, i can still feel the love of God fully if i drop ministry. But it's ministry which God prepared for me that really teaches me what is love! i am greatly blessed by my spiritual sons to allow me the chances to learn to love and give till the point it hurts. i will not be who i am today without this special blessing from God.

My prayer:

Oh Lord.. even as we're in this G12 church, teach everyone of us to capture the G12 vision deeo within our hearts. It is Your gospel of love that we are saved, so allowed us to love everyone as ourselves and spread Your love fragance around. Let everyone of us be passionate to You and compassionate to people, just like Jesus.

Oh Lord, i thank you for the sheep You sent to me. Let me receive them as a blessing, nv a chore! Give me strength! Empower me Lord!

Amen!

Alvin