Perhaps when we are older, we will understand...

Dear friends, i write this to all so that we can understand our parents better...


I would like to start off that in this year of Loving Our Neighbours, we need to learn to love our parents as well... But before we learn to love our parents, we need to understand their heartbeat... With this, i would like to share another song, Dan Fogelberg - Leader Of The Band


Yet again, this is another non-Christian song... This song is a tribute from Dan Folgerberg to his father, the leader of the band. After listening to it, i finally understand a bit more about my parents


Lyrics of Leader Of The Band:


He earned his love through discipline, a thundering velvet hand..
His gentle means of sculpting souls took me years to understand


I thank you for the music, and your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom, when it came my time to go
I thank you for the kindness and the times when you got tough
And papa I don't think I said I love you near enough
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Many times we don't understand why our parents discipline us. We feel unjustified, and blame our parents that they do not understand us. I used to complain that my father does not love me at all, then one statement that he made changed my life...


My dad said: "Son, I do not blame you if you do not understand my love for you. Perhaps when you are older, when you have a family of your own, then you will understand all that I've done for you"


My father is a typical Chinese parent, he will not say mushy words such as "I love you", and neither will he kiss me on the forehead or cheeks. But when both of us sit down and eat a meal, we know that we love each other in our hearts, and no words need to be said.


My dad used to discipline me very harshly when I was young, that is why i grow up in an environment of punishment. Now that I'm much older, i appreciate that discipline, because it is his way of sculpting my soul, just as the song goes. The chinese saying goes, those who are able to take hardship of hardships becomes people of great calibre. Without digesting that hardship, I do not think that I will be here today...

Similar to the lyrics: "I thank you for the music, and the stories of the road", my dad used to share his life journey, his mistakes with me... He tell me "Son, if you can avoid making mistakes, then do not make it. People always say that we learn from our mistakes, but certain mistakes are too costly a price to pay..." These impartations are invaluable to me and made me understand the hearbeat of my father more...

"I thank you for the freedom, when it came my time to go" - My dad once sat with me for breakfast and he told me: "Son, I work my life out, so that you can have a better life, so that I can give you all that you need to go out to life and explore all the possibilities out there. I am unlike some parents, who needs their children to be by their side... My hope for you is go out and lead your own life, and lead a good life..." The words are still stuck in my head till today i will never forget.

Epilogue:

We may not understand our parents heartbeat for us at this present stage, but I'm sure in due time, perhaps when we are much older, or until we start our family, then we will come to realize... We will come to appreciate, and we will come to love them just as much as they love us...

Signed with deep apologies for forgiveness,
VaZe